I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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