so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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