so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
