i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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