Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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