I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
