I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
wow bdsm is so cute
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
