I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
