Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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