I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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