hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
