She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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