my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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