do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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