I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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