I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
