im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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