You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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