I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So apparently I’m into choking now
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