Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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