im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
