I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
