Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
