I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
