Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
