we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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