big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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