Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
