I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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