Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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