butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
