she was so not down for the gang bang
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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