I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
