you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
