yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
