I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
