You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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