You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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