# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
