remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
