Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
