you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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