lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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