You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
