i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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