he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize