Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize