Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
