Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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