He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
