Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
