Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
