He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
