I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
